Professional Coutesy and Proximity

I was in college, working at the middle school and readily available to make swift changes.

Red paved the way in our district for some new policies. They are affectionately called the “Red model”. I don’t believe the staff would have considered them were I not in their “net” and a part of the national policy-setting trend of higher education. Red opened the doors for students to not have to be in 6th grade to be placed into a 6th grade math class, which has been applied to other courses for other students. Red was in 6th grade math for 3 years.

The first year he was under the desk in the back of the room.

The second year he was sitting in the back of the classroom at his desk working on a different workbook and occasionally raising his hand to make a comment or answer not always (but sometimes!) on topic.

His third year Red was working in the 6th grade math book and while he still hadn’t memorized his math facts, he was, “surprisingly good at the big-picture concepts”.

Until Red and I came along, the middle school hadn’t tried including someone who tested as low as Red into regular education classes (although this trend is changing across the nation as more literature is available supporting this placement policy).

Red has a 1:1 para-educator (Known in our district as a SCIA, short for “special circumstance instructional aide”) so they questioned the placement but did not challenge it.

As many autie parents know, our kids do not test well, nor are they able to regurgitate facts on command in other ways such as verbally - this should not keep students out of regular education classes!

Sometimes it takes awhile for our kids to mull over, process and attach meaning to new information. If they are denied access to typical classes the gaps and differences just increase.

(I strongly urge you to not rush to make waves – remember it is a fine line of perception between advocate and adversary. I will write about this distinction issue in a future entry).

Our kids often appear to teachers and staff as not being capable of a regular classroom placement for their education.

With proper modifications, adjusted expectations, and support, most (not all!) students can do well in a regular education classroom, including our children with autism.

Students with autism may not appear that they are doing well by most standard measures. For example, Red’s 7th grade social studies teacher would ask him questions and engage him in dialog to discover what he understood of the material.

Not all teachers are willing or able to do this.

It was the Social Studies teacher’s impression that Red was fine but indicated that he was still guessing Red’s abilities intuitively.

A year later, during the standardized test that included the 7th grade material, Red scored higher in social studies than in any other area and even above most of his typical peers.

It took that long for Red to process the information.

Information he would not have had access to if he’d not been placed in a regular education class.

Correct use of modifications, proper supports and realistic expectations from teachers, staff and parents and even the student are all required to make regular classroom placement work for our children with autism.

Even with all of these factors in place, our students may have emotional or sensory requirements that preclude a regular classroom placement.

Keep in mind the whole child when considering their education placement.

Red was having some major trauma with bullies his 8th grade year (proximity helped but certainly didn’t fix this particular issue!) and was starting to not want to go to school to be abused by the bullies.

There, in the hallway, his case manager and I brainstormed and found some solutions.

Red loves music and especially band.

Red had previously shared that he wanted to take up baritone and continue trombone. We concluded that because the 8th grade Social Studies is not critical to the exit exam, Red could have 2 periods of band instead.

We also agreed that we needed to meet with the team to work on the issue of bullies.

The quick decision was possible because I was there at the school. I was available, I knew the players and I knew the questions to ask because of my proximity. Also, I had developed a strong and professional relationship with the staff.

More about Proximity

Proximity has many other advantages.

I have been available to make quick minor adjustments, back the teachers and reinforce rules, heard about long-term projects, answer questions about his ability to do certain things, and teachers were a lot more aware about how active I was in Red’s education.

Red's teachers knew, for example, that I read to him every night but that keeping a reading log just didn’t work well for either of us.

The teachers and staff witnessed me taking notes, and working on my Master’s degree and I asked them plenty of questions and they asked me questions too. Sometimes about Red but increasingly about other students with special needs.

Teachers took notice of me juggling being a single parent, school and work. Many had not considered just how challenging raising a child with autism is and that close to 80% of us are single parents!

As parents we really are doing everything we can and we tend to beat ourselves up when we recognize it never is enough.

When teachers witnessed how hard I was working to make Red’s school experience a positive one, they tried harder themselves.

Whenever they’d make comments about how well Red or I was doing I pointed out that I was lucky to be working at the same school and that most parents really do try their best too but that raising kids with special needs is not easy.

Probably my favorite part of being in close proximity to Red’s education was getting to hear the “Red Stories”.

Teachers would share an interesting moment that happened in their classroom regarding Red. In this way, I got to witness teacher’s growing as professionals and bonding with my son.

Red was making a difference in their lives.