Proximity and Professional Courtesy - For You and Yours

Proximity and professional courtesy is all well and good for Red and me but how can that apply to your situation?

I can’t answer that for you but perhaps if you stretch your imagination and ponder the question a way will be shown to you. Is it possible to volunteer in your child’s classroom or at the school?

I can completely relate if it’s not.

When you’re the parent of a child with special needs you are already a 24/7 volunteer.

When it was suggested to me that I could learn more at Red’s school and meet other parents by volunteering in Red’s classroom I jumped at the opportunity. Red had just started first grade (for the 1st time) and I was in a position financially where I did not need to work.

Red had major meltdowns when I tried volunteering.

When he saw me at the school when I wasn’t “supposed” to be there he’d scream and yell and even throw himself on the ground or hit me.

Eventually it was suggested that perhaps I shouldn’t be there.

Keep trying.

As you have likely discovered, our kids are on their own maturity trajectory but it is possible for them to mature beyond a “trying” point in time.

Going to school early to help out on the playground, office, classroom or library are other ways you may be able to make your presence “available” for positive interactions with the school staff.

If your work or other family obligations don’t allow for time to volunteer during school hours are there other things you can do at different times or even venues?

YMCA, sports, drama, or other after school activities may provide you opportunities to connect with teachers or staff as well as network with other parents. Chaperoning a school dance or other singular events may work into your schedule better.

Can you help out another teacher using your special skills or talents?

Just because your skills are not a match for your child’s teacher, they may help another and word gets around! Even working at other school sites will help.

Whether you are able to volunteer or not, maintaining a team player and positive attitude go a long way to benefiting your child and establishing your credibility as advocate.

As long as you ask yourself what you can do to keep yourself in proximity and be seen as a professional team member for your child, you will find ways to improve this area.

Do what you can to establish yourself as a pro-child advocate, not just for your child but all children.

Be active in your community; go to school board meetings, join parent support groups. You will learn a lot about the issues teachers and the community face regarding children.

What we want for our children must responsibly be factored into what is best for all students.

This does not mean that we continually permit our child's needs be forsaken but that we learn to pick our battles and whenever possible find creative solutions that do not take away from the needs of other students.

Be fair.

Your reputation as a fair and creative team member will serve well when you do decide to “pick a battle”.

One of the gifts or developed skills parents of exceptional children have is being resourceful. Use it well.

Continue to find ways to be in proximity of your child’s teachers and maintain a reputation as professional child advocate. Your ability to do this will serve your child (and school and community) in ways you may never fully know or appreciate.